Strength TogetHER 11 - Session 5

August 7, 2021

On 7th August 2021, we had the fifth session of cohort 11. The topic of our session was "Don't Blame Yourself" with almost twenty participants. In the session, we talked about how we tend to blame ourselves even for the tiniest problems that arise, that even might be about the friend we couldn’t help or for the misunderstandings or arguments that happen with people. We shared stories regarding how each one of us has at least once gone through that stage where we only saw ourselves as the reasons for every problem and blame ourselves.

Facilitated by Lokopakar "Strength Together" is a virtual space where girls having different stories come together and share their experiences and opinions. Within a very short period of time, this platform has been expanded to various parts of Nepal. It has been walking with the motto "girls supporting girls".

Our session was moderated by Nasana Bajracharya who is leading communications at an educational non profit organization. She has been a part of Kathmandu Alka since three years where she helped the youth club grow by taking the role of Club Secretary and Club President in two consecutive years.

She is very enthusiastic about building a sustainable lifestyle and is currently pursuing Masters in Sustainable Development at the Kathmandu University. She loves public speaking and engaging in community works and projects.

In the session, all the participants shared their experiences of how they were made to believe that they are the reason the problem arises. Our first speaker shared her story about how she blamed herself even when other people were rude to her. Having thoughts like "I'm not enough" and "I am/was bad"  made her believe that she was guilty of everything that happened to her.

Our second speaker too shared about how she had sleepless nights when she stayed awake pointing out her own mistakes and making herself feel guilty. She also shared about how her friends too blamed her for everything that used to happen and that made her blame herself even more.

Our speakers shared their personal stories about how they regretted not being able to be there for their loved ones when they needed them, about how they always pointed out their negatives and bad sides despite knowing they have a kind heart too.

For not being able to complete tasks, for not being able to help friends, for being someone who was bad at doing things in a perfect manner, for everything they once had to endure, our speakers shared stories about blaming themselves.

However, our moderator gave us very insightful feedback at the end of our session. She shared with us about how normal it is for friendships to begin and end, and that nothing gets better if we only keep on blaming ourselves. She shared her story too and made us believe that life is a turmoil and problems arise, however, one of those things we can do is to find what we love and engage in that.

Blaming oneself for everything that happens isn’t going to help us, so she advised us to be more communicative, to be vocal and to keep ourselves at the top of our priority list.

This session was indeed very fruitful as we got to know that we are not alone and that there are other people too who blame themselves when  something happens. Most importantly, this session helped us take a step closer to loving ourselves, accepting mistakes and trying to rectify them, not to blame our own selves.

This blog is written by Usha Adhikari who's currently studying in grade 11. She too was a participant of that very session. Usha has keen interest in reading and writing and she sees herself as someone who is always striving to be a better person.